Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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