so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize