Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
