did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
