I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
