so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
