How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
