I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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