Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
