You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
