You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
