YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
