Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
