Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
