you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize