i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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