dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
