did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
