Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
