i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just pee around me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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