I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
