The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
false alarm, still single
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
