the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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