ya dads aren't the best wingmen
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
