My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
