I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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