96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
