You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
