Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize