While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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