my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize