I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
