What did we do last night that was yellow?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
