its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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