ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
