It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
