I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
