So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's the barista slut.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
