Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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