oh god the rape fog is back!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it hurts more in the daytime
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
