i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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