OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
