I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
