Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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