I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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