You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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