I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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