hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
