I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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