Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
