we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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