I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
