I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
