Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
