Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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