good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
