I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
