Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
