Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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