Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
