I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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