Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem

(914): View more from New York

Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.

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(352): View more from Florida

... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

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(443): View more from Maryland

Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?

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(214): View more from Texas

Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

(281): View more from Texas

If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.

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(702): View more from Nevada

You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.

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(727): View more from Florida

Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.

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