Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
