yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
