oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize